


Under The Mistletoe

by alkjira



Series: Fix-it (!) December [19]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bilbo Remains In Erebor, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Cultural Differences, Fix-It, M/M, Mistletoe, Post-Battle of Five Armies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 14:02:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2853422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/pseuds/alkjira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“The guards found mistletoe outside Bilbo’s quarters,” Dwalin told Thorin, both of their faces deeply serious as they glanced down at the innocent looking little sprig of greenery with white berries resting in Dwalin’s palm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under The Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

> Christmas and writing have not been a good match so far.  
> We'll see if I can turn this around, otherwise Fix-it December might have some stories posted in January.
> 
> (You get a stand-alone story because these are faster than adding chapters to an ongoing thing.)  
> ((And please just pretend that there is a timeline that makes sense, lol, I'm afraid I'm ignoring such things for the sake of a good story))

“The guards found mistletoe outside Bilbo’s quarters,” Dwalin told Thorin, both of their faces deeply serious as they glanced down at the innocent looking little sprig of greenery with white berries resting in Dwalin’s palm.

“ _Thranduil_ ,” Thorin growled, but Dwalin shook his head.  
  
“I know it seems like it would be one of his lot, but I swear to you, there’s no way they’ve made it inside the mountain, much less to Bilbo’s quarters.” Dwalin sighed. “Not even the one the lads have taken such a shine to. This has to be the work of someone who-“  
  
“Are you telling me that one of _our_ people would threaten Bilbo’s life?” Thorin’s expression was that of a grimly displeased thundercloud. “That a _Dwarf_ would do this?”

Again Dwalin sighed.  
  
“The Elves and Humans can’t have done it.” He shrugged one shoulder. “What do you want me to say. Nori haven’t heard anyone say an impolite word against him, but it could be the work of a single mad Dwarf, or-“  
  
“Or there are those who are displeased that I invited a _Halfling_ to stay in Erebor,” Thorin said, eyes as cold steel. “People who lurk in the shadows waiting for their chance to-“ He fell quiet, glaring down at the mistletoe with its sickly looking waxy berries.  
  
The plant was poisonous, parasitic, and most famously used as a taunt to someone you were planning on killing, something that had started ages ago in one of the wars between Elves and Dwarfs, so far back in ancient history that Thorin did not know the details of it. But he knew very well that seeing mistletoe hanging in your halls was a severe threat indeed.

“Don’t tell Bilbo,” Thorin commanded Dwalin. “Not yet. But tell Nori I want to know who’s behind this. And make sure there are guards following Bilbo at all times. Discreetly.”

-

Dwarfs were not a very discrete lot. At all. Which was why Bilbo realised that he was being followed around by armed guards about five minutes after they first began following him.

To be polite he did not call attention to the fact that he knew he was being followed, it didn’t seem as if the guards were waiting to see if he’d attack someone so it likely was Thorin or Dwalin having ideas about his personal security and or safety again (it would not be for the first time), and as such he’d save his opinions for them.  
  
He would also have a word with Nori, because if those guards honestly thought they were being discrete then it was just tragic.  
  
As Bilbo arrived back to his chambers he glanced up and scowled when he was met by nothing but empty ceiling. Perhaps he also needed to ask Nori to help find whoever who had thought it a good idea to appropriate his mistletoe. How rude. This was the second time it had disappeared. If they wanted it that badly they could take a trip down to Dale and get some of their own.  
  
Luckily he’d saved a smaller bundle of mistletoe to hang inside his rooms. Just in case… well, just in case a certain dark-haired King decided to invite himself in for tea as he’d taken to doing every so often over the last few months.  
  
He hoped that he wouldn’t actually _need_ an explanation to kiss Thorin, but just in case he was misreading things it would be handy to have an explanation ready. No matter what happened he wanted to remain Thorin’s friend, and if that required blaming his actions on the mistletoe then so be it.  
  
The mistletoe outside mostly just been an extra precaution. Insurance, you might call it. Because if Thorin’s evenings were too busy to allow him to come for a visit then he often opted to join Bilbo for breakfast instead, waiting outside so they could walk together down to the kitchens and dining halls.  
  
Something Bilbo eventually hoped to develop into Thorin not arriving for breakfast but _staying_ for breakfast instead. Perhaps eaten in bed.... but mistletoe or not, that would likely be some ways away.  
  
Not that it stopped Bilbo from humming slightly to himself as he climbed on top of a chair and then the dresser so he could hang the mistletoe in the doorway leading to his bedroom.  
  
If leaving on a quest with 13 Dwarfs had taught him anything it was that nothing was impossible.  
  
-  
  
Knocking on Bilbo’s door Thorin didn’t allow himself to even begin to relax until he’d let himself in and shut the door behind himself.  
  
There had not been any more mistletoe spotted outside, or anywhere near, Bilbo’s quarters, and neither Nori nor the guards assigned to Bilbo had had anything to report.  
  
This did not in any way comfort Thorin, quite the opposite. It worried him that no one had heard anything about the plot against Bilbo’s life. Could it be that it was the mad plan of a single Dwarf? Or was it part of a conspiracy so secret that not even Nori could hear even a whisper of it…  
  
Either way it made the situation unpredictable and Thorin worried.

“You missed tea!” Bilbo called from his study and Thorin smiled despite himself, shoulders losing some of their stiffness. “Almost missed it, at least," the Hobbit added.

“Urgent business,” Thorin apologised, toeing off his boots and leaving them at the door.  
  
He had noticed that it pleased Bilbo when people forewent the use of shoes, and there were much more complicated things that Thorin would do to please Bilbo.  
  
Had done, indeed, or rather, was in the middle of doing as the garden that was being built on the side of the mountain had taken a lot of time and effort to plan. Thorin might not be amongst those who spent day after day digging and carrying soil, but the designs had all been his, and he had done as much work as his duties as King allowed him.  
  
The garden would be ready to be given to Bilbo in a few weeks’ time and hopefully his Hobbit would find it an acceptable courting gift and accept his suit. He knew that Bilbo’s father had given his mother a home, and as Thorin would rather not have Bilbo living outside the mountain in a hole in the ground, he rather thought a garden would be a suitable replacement.  
  
“Would that urgent business have anything to do with why I was being followed by guards today?” Bilbo asked, turning to face Thorin as the Dwarf walked into the study.  
  
-  
  
Bilbo hid a sigh at the brief moment of surprise that flitted across Thorin’s face. Oh dear, the guards probably thought that they’d really had been discreet after all.  
  
“There’s no need to worry,” Thorin said, sitting down in his usual spot in the armchair next to Bilbo’s desk.  
  
“Right,” Bilbo agreed and pushed an empty cup of tea closer to him. “I’m sure the guards were just bored and decided that following me around was better than doing nothing at all. And tomorrow they will find something better to do.”  
  
A stubborn, very familiar, expression settled on Thorin’s face. Mostly across his brow, but there were also signs of it along the downturned corners of his mouth, as well as something displeased about his nose that Bilbo couldn’t quite put words to but which still was present.

“Thorin,” the Hobbit warned even as he went up to get the kettle standing by the fireplace. “I’ll not have-“  
  
“They will guard you for as long as I say,” Thorin said and the tone of his voice made it clear that there was no reason to discuss the matter further.  
  
Bilbo of course tried to discuss the matter further.  
  
“You can’t think that I might still get lost,” Bilbo said, finally putting the kettle down on the desk to be able to fold his arms across his chest. “It’s not happened in-“  
  
“There’s been a threat against your life,” Thorin said flatly and Bilbo’s mouth dropped open in shock. “I would have preferred not to alarm you-“  
  
“Right,” Bilbo said faintly as he poured tea with hands that weren’t entirely steady. Instead of offering the cup to Thorin he took a healthy swig himself, wishing that it wasn’t just tea he was drinking.  
  
“You don’t need to worry,” Thorin promised, rising from the chair to close the small distance between the both of them.  
  
“If someone has threatened to kill me that seems as reason to worry,” Bilbo said and shook his head. “Why would someone want to kill me? _Who_ would want to kill me?”  
  
It was completely out of the blue. Nothing in the time he’d spent in Erebor had made him consider that someone didn’t at all want him there. Everyone had been just lovely to him.  
  
“We do not yet know,” Thorin said reluctantly. “But I swear-“ he put both his hands on Bilbo’s shoulders. “-you will be safe. I would not have anything happen to you.”  
  
Bilbo looked up into pale blue eyes which so earnestly looked down at him. He opened his mouth, not sure what he was about to say, which was perhaps just as well as it ended up as a hiss since he’d accidentally tipped most of the cup of tea he’d been holding over himself, splashing his shirt and dripping down on his feet.  
  
Weren’t you supposed to get weak in the _knees_ over ridiculously pretty people? Not in your dratted wrists…  
  
The tea had been far from steaming (Thorin had been late after all) and it was just the initial surprise and discomfort of suddenly being wet that made Bilbo flinch and jump back, but judging by Thorin’s reaction you might have thought it had been boiling oil that had been involved, and without quite knowing how Bilbo suddenly found himself without a shirt, curls a little bit messier than before, and with Thorin’s broad palm hovering over his chest.  
  
“I will send for ice,” Thorin said and frowned down at the slightly pink skin.  
  
“That won’t be necessary at all,” Bilbo promised and pretended that his chest was only getting pink from the tea, no blushing going on what so ever. “Just let me get a new shirt and I’ll be right as rain.”  
  
As Bilbo moved towards his bedroom it was impossible not to notice that Thorin followed, perhaps worried that more tea would attack. Or something worse, Bilbo supposed, and a frown settled on his forehead. But he tried to push the thought away.  
  
Something that was easier than it otherwise would have been since Bilbo remembered what he had hung in the doorway leading into his bedroom...  
  
-  
  
Only when Bilbo stopped in the doorway and Thorin almost walked into him did the Dwarf realise that he’d been about to follow Bilbo into his bedroom without being invited, and an apology was on his lips even as his Hobbit turned around.

A few moments later _Bilbo’s_ lips were to be found on Thorin’s lips (and of the apology there was no trace).  
  
Thorin was so surprised by the kiss that he’d not quite managed to get himself to return it by the time Bilbo pulled back. Something he was more than happy to correct, and which he would have corrected had not something else happened first.

“Mistletoe,” Bilbo murmured and Thorin was instantly on high alert, all thoughts of kissing pushed away.  
  
“Where?” he demanded, wrapping an arm around Bilbo to pull him closer, away from any potential threat.  
  
“Um…” Hazel eyes blinking rapidly Bilbo glanced up and then looked back at Thorin. “Above us?”  
  
And sure enough, when Thorin looked up there it was. Evergreen leaves a stark reminder of enemies ever present, the white berries were even greater in number than on the other bundles of twigs, and Thorin glared daggers at the poisonous pods.  
  
“This is not acceptable,” he growled. “I had the entire hallway watched.”  
  
Noting the confused look on Bilbo’s face (only mistaking it to be shock instead) Thorin gently cupped Bilbo’s face and leaned down to brush their foreheads together.  
  
“I swear to you,” Thorin murmured. “No harm shall come to you as long as I draw breath. I will find the person responsible for these threats and they will-”

Bilbo glanced up and then back at Thorin.  
  
“The person who, ah, put the mistletoe there?”  
  
Thorin nodded.  
  
“But _I_ put it there,” Bilbo said.  
  
“You _what_?” Thorin could not believe what he had just heard.  
  
“I put it there,” Bilbo repeated, fidgeting a little, and Thorin abruptly realised that Bilbo still wasn’t wearing a shirt, though he tried to not let this detail be a distraction. Even if there was a large expanse of skin tantalisingly close. Very close in fact. Skin that he was in fact touching. And Bilbo _had_ kissed him.  
  
“ _Why_ would you do such a thing?” Thorin asked after he’d managed to get his thoughts back on the right track once more, and after he’d tried to imagine Bilbo’s reasoning but without managing it.

-  
  
Bilbo couldn’t help but to look at Thorin’s mouth, but he forced himself to immediately meet Thorin’s eyes again.  
  
“I suppose I was being silly?” Bilbo said, part hopeful, part not at all understanding what was going on. But Thorin was holding him. He’d not returned the kiss, but now they were doing something that might be called cuddling. That was a lot better than being pushed away, that much Bilbo felt sure of.  
  
“Silly?” Thorin repeated.

“I guess I wanted a reason,” Bilbo admitted.  
  
“A reason?”  
  
“To kiss you.”  
  
“To- to _kiss_ me?”

 

-  
  
Needless to say, it took them a while longer to sort out what was actually going on, but at the end of the all, Bilbo was still not wearing a shirt, and his trousers had also mysteriously disappeared, as had most of Thorin’s clothes, and the mistletoe had been banished into Bilbo’s waste basket.

The next day Thorin sent someone to explain to the Men of Dale just why selling mistletoe in their market might not be such a good idea.  
  
He might also have sent some extra coin for the one who had in fact sold it to Bilbo in the first place.

Just because.

**Author's Note:**

> Answering any comments for this and the others tomorrow *nod nod*  
> Sorry if it's less coherent at the end, wrote it in one go and I finished after midnight so yeah. There's a risk.
> 
> I hope you've had a great holiday so far!


End file.
